i realise i have weird habits. idiosyncrasies perhaps.
if i take the mert.
i MUST walk to the end to wait or i'll feel uncomfy. like something's not done yet.
when i alight from the train.
i prefer taking the stairs as opposed to the escalators.
why? i have no idea.
when i'm reading.
i will unconsciously chew on my nails.
not that the story's riveting but its just a matter of habit.
my belt and flipflops must match. (not always, just on certain days)
when people talk, i tend to stone. (again, not always, just when i'm not in the mood)
not that i dont wanna listen but my mind completely shuts down unless someone whacks me or i decide to snap outta it.
so thank you gabbie for the many times u shout into my ear, "STONER".
i don't really like watching tv.
yes, u read correctly.
i will watch tv but its not exactly on my no.1 on the list of "things to do" when i get home.
i dislike reading instruction manuals.
its such a hassle.
when i hold hands.
i prefer that my hand's at the back.
heh. yes i like it from the rear.
why am i even typing all these?
ah well..
it must be the lack of sleep.
| 10:36 Sunday, August 29, 2004
i was sitting on that long bus journey watching the world pass me by.
it was only then,
when i was completely silent and able to hear my own thoughts.
it still hurts doesn't it?
maybe not as much but the aftershocks are still tangible.
i can only shrug and bury it deep.
someday.
| 22:53 Friday, August 27, 2004
the story of my current life.
i spend all my evenings and nights on the 6th floor.
eating.
napping.
watching the telly.
channel surfin.
blogging.
online surfin.
cuddling.
bathing.
sleeping.
studying (ok, only once.)
laughing.
tickling.
giggling.
teasing.
glaring.
whacking.
piggy-backing.
debating.
sharing.
playing.
and of cuz, some good ol' lovin.
end of story.
| 01:38 Wednesday, August 25, 2004
shit. freak. shit. freak. shit.
i have 7 farking essay questions to complete and what am i freaking doing here?
yes, i am blatantly refusing to acknowledge the tonnes of notes infront of me and its use for my stupid blardy essays.
i'm willing to pay 10bucks per essay outline?
any takers?
yeah right, as if anybody would part with 70bucks for some essay outlines...
-sigh-
my mom just threw out 5 pairs of sneakers and shoes leftover from my jc days in an effort to keep our wonderfully overflowing storeroom from actually overflowing.
so now, i have no whatsoever shoes for exercising or those really ol' worn n used adidas superstars anymore.
arrgh.
AH HA! but she's feeling guilty so i'm sure i can wheedle some cash for shoes outta her.
wheee... shopping here i come.
oh i was reading roanna's blog.
and bimbo is actually an italian word for boy?!
wtf?
so i shall call my irritating chor lor friends tom-bimbo.
haha. revenge for all the times they rhyme my name with some obscene sexual word.
bahaha.
but then again tom-bimbo is not strong enuff.
hmmm.. -ponders hard-
someday lar.. i shall think...
| 14:05 Monday, August 23, 2004
my favourite tattoo. its an angel with wings. woo..
| 01:19 Sunday, August 22, 2004
u know how girls tend to place so much emphasis on the words "i love you".
it supposedly means......
i wanna marry u and hope u can be the mother of my children.
(ok, only to some people)
but girls tend to fantasise.
i swear.
girls do.
its inevitable that every guy they're with, they dream about life with him as a married couple.
don't lie ok girls.
u know very well u've thought that before.
-grin-
and the words "i love you" makes this alarm in your brain go off.
ting ting ting!
and you're thinking the guy who said those 3 beautiful words might just be the father of your children.
wooo..
BUT,
its blardy stupid to do THAT ok.
DON'T!
stopthatblardyhabit.
ah well..
this certain person sat me down n said:
"when i say -i love you- it doesnt mean i want her to marry me or be the mother of my children. it means im falling in serious like with her"
how apt.
i like this explanation.
so don't give false hope boys.
guys will promise you the world when they're in serious like.
n girls, stop fantasising lar for gdness sake.
the guy u make out with now will not necessarily be your hubby.
i'm hungry.
thus, this post.
| 17:36
(Guest Posting by the mind-fcuked one.)
Love is ugly
Love is beautiful
Love is accepting one's imperfections..and loving them for it..
Love is being able to be yourself around that one special person without any inhibitions..
Love is not a feeling..its a state of mind..
Love is acceptance..Love is company..
Love is letting your significant other know that they'll never be lonely...
Love...is.
| 17:32 Wednesday, August 18, 2004
this is jonathan mark chu. heh.
| 23:55
i wanna keep a secret diary.
u know.. secret. like noone ever ever reads it but you.
BUT when i was a kid, my mom used to read my diaries and scream at me for writing about how so-and-so used to steal stickers from the bookshop.
scold me for saying ah ti was an irritating boy who kept disturbing me in class.
i was like 8?!
she said diaries were meant to be about happy things.
eg, "i went to the playground and played with my neighbours and was really happy.. yeah!"
-rolls eyes-
yes i had no freedom whatsoever with my mom.
totally.
even till today, thats right! no freedom.
i admit i'm sheltered.
she thinks i'm her angel.
like: whats the birds and the bees mommy?
sex? whats that? can it be eaten?
hahahaha.
ok so i'm exaggerating.
but its along those lines lar eh..
i'll always be her little girl.
i've had my fair share of freaking wanting to shove her face down the chute. who doesnt?
(i know its crude but i'm being awfully honest.)
she pisses me off like hell.
i piss her off so much so that sometimes i see her seething with anger. (like literally, smoke outta her ears)
its a love-hate relationship.
i appreciate her for the fact she took care of me since i popped outta her.
she cooked, cleaned, washed, taught and most importantly, loved unconditionally.
u know what i'm most afraid of?
turning into my mom.
yet deep down, a part of me is exactly like her.
i love you mom. sometimes.
and if u asked: sophia, if me or your mom dropped into the sea. who'd you save?
i'd save my mommy.
-winks-
or else who'd wash the clothes?
heheh. kiddin arh.
| 00:25 Tuesday, August 17, 2004
meet paul frank
i love paul frank lar. its undeniable.
noone can get to see him except me.
-laughs- he's hidden deep in the trenches of somewhere u wouldnt wanna know.
so tomorrow i shall wear my vondutch tshirt n carry that eastpak that jonny boy bought me, stand on a chair n shout "i'm property of JMC now".
yah right.
but u never know i just might. heh.
what were u thinking?
J M C stands for Junior Man-hater's Club.
awww... i was kidding lar. k jmc?
| 00:57 Monday, August 16, 2004
the mere act of a whispered voice singing into one's ears can transport u to the heavens.
or at least somewhere near there.
especially when the lyrics hold special meaning.
its a beautiful thing.
alot of girls get into relationships thinking they can change the guy.
perhaps to the extent of changing the mindset? or acting like some "savior".
maybe if we expected less.
and accepted things the way they are.
things would be so much simpler and relaxed.
like now.
i luf u. :)
| 01:22 Friday, August 13, 2004
they say SHIT happens.
but it isn't supposed to happen that often eh?
imagine this wonderful scenario:
Boy A and Girl A have been together for a year.
n so they quarre,l fight, lotsa character differences.
SHIT happens. so they break up.
it wasn't exactly an amicable breakup.
neither was it THAT bad.
i mean what do u expect?
they're gonna get married or something?
afterall, theyre teenagers for blardy goodness sake.
Girl A has this BESTIE. they're inseperable.
she's Girl B.
and Girl B is the fucking BEST friend anyone can have and i mean it.
she's the sweetest human being.
Girl A and Girl B are willing to do pretty much anything for each other.
because friendship lasts forever in this story.
BUT that fucking bastard of an asshole Boy A decides that after one month of breakup.
he feels rather lonely, needs companionship.
SHIT happens AGAIN.
so he hits on Girl B.
its not exactly the direct in-your-face "i like you" kinda thing.
but rather it was the subtle hinting. *nudge nudge* kinda thing.
n so now Girl A feels fucken horrible.
Girl B feels fucken guilty.
Girl A feels pretty much helpless too.
and Girl B is at a complete loss.
any suggestions as to how to clear this SHIT?
(p.s: this happened to a friend of mine.)
maybe for some people.
u "share-ware".
BUT i'm boiling at the thought of this story.
i dislike using the word FUCK because its an obscene vulgairty.
but the anger is overwhelming.
i'm so sorry.
-shrug-
| 17:18 Wednesday, August 11, 2004
when u meet someone.
someone who intrigues u and fascinates u all at the same time.
suddenly u lose all inhibitions and wonder whats gotten into u.
where's the rational sophia?
where's the cautious sophia?
but just the thrill of suddenly rushing into something u've never done before.
the adrenalin rush that sets your heart pumping.
the warning signals in your brain goes off.
but all u do is lose ALL rational/logical thoughts.
ur brain says no but every other part of you says: why, no? why, not?
i admit i have my apprehensions. countless of 'em.
and i have no freaking idea what the hell has gotten into me.
i have changed.
i need some serious help.
or maybe i just need to trust something other than my brain just for once.
i'm frightened.
what if? what if?
is what u say true?
should i trust u?
i'm gullible and maybe a little naive.
i mean i'm just your plain average jane.
nothing outta the special.
i just hope u don't lie.
thats all i pray.
| 02:58 Friday, August 06, 2004
there are moments that suddenly strike me n i feel really down for like 30 secs.
like SUDDENLY this feeling of sadness overwhelms me.
and i wonder WHY? why this? why that?
why does this happen to me or like why did i even make such a choice/decision?
thank goodness these moments are FEW and FAR between.
*shudder* it would be horrible to feel like that ALL the freaking time.
which was just what i was feeling about 4weeks ago.
time flies by and i catch myself no longer thinking about him at all.
in fact the image of his face in my mind seems rather hazy.
i realise how the past just remains the past.
and you move on with a new life, new things, new friends, new fun.
i really Thank God for helping me through and now i feel like the happy me again.
i can talk about isaac without feeling a tinge of sadness.
but rather its more like a comment," oh gosh! cute guy alert, isaac pattern!"
isaac pattern equates to big beefy guy with broad shoulders and a liking for big oversized tshirts.
bahaha!
oh but dont u agree?
would u want a skinny guy?
the type whose waist can match yours and u feel fat next to him?!
NO NO NO.
ok out of point.
i'm happy for me.
so u should be too.
| 23:37 Thursday, August 05, 2004
so school's started.
i'm not that psyched or particularly happy.
but its definitely better than working and earning my own keep.
now its back to mummy n daddy's handouts. heh.
and after having a mere 3 hour lecture, i came home n slept for 2 hours straight.
*laughs*
i think its the result of not using my brain actively for 8months.
another great thing is that i found a bus from school straight to town and it only takes like 20mins?! whee..
AND on the topic of being "friendly" and making new friends.
sadly. everybody's timetables are different so u never actually see the same people.
but i'm pretty much blessed because i see hordes of familar faces who accomapny me to different classes.
phew.
i would be really lonely if i had to sit through a 3 hour lect alone with noone to talk to or write stupid poems with. heheh.
and they serve tea, coffee and eggtarts during breaks! like wth?! haha.
my friend angie n i joked about the prospect of drinking 10,000bucks worth of tea to recuperate our fees. bah. such nonsense.
good thing i have humorous lecturers. or at least they try to be.
which keeps me awake. i've been pretty much a gd girl! staying awake and paying attention ALL the freaking time.
i hope this phase will last.
actually the real reason why i'm sooOOOOooo "kwai" and quiet is cuz i'm not very familar with the friends i'm with. bahaha.
and rachel got approached by this damn weird and nerdy looking guy who had eye spasms.
the kind that looks abit like william hung. albeit a little worse.
she's kinda freaked out i think.
hahahaha.
all i did was stand there and desperately stifle my laughter.
OK i'm evil i know.
BUt i cant help it if the guy goes "eh u year one ah? *eye spasm eye spasm* eh u take what course ah? *scratches ear plus eye spasm*"
by this time rachel was inching closer n closer to me.
guy:"see you around sch k" *eye spasm*
rachel (under her breath): "die ah."
BAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.
and he's a loner. he walks around alone with no whatsoever friends and everytime he sees rachel he makes an effort to smile and talk but rachie dear just hurries away.
*pinch myself*
freak, i'm so MEAN.
ok sorry. he's nice lar eh.
u never know.
*sheepish grin*
| 21:41 Monday, August 02, 2004
this is for the jc memories.
*laughs*
the spastic things we did together.
the fun we had.
i found it between some old notes i was clearing today.
so enjoy fenfen, charmie marmie n chrissy.
i wonder if fen, charm chris remembered how we wrote this stupid poem.
with each person contributing one line.
i think it was math lecture.
heh.
THE POEM ABOUT SEX.
Lets discuss about the Birds and the Bees.
Why can't your mind be focused on "unpollinated" things like trees.
My brother says there are some people who'd do it for fees.
I got excited and wondered if my big O would reach climax as high as the seas.
If you were with your brother that day.
You didnt really have to pay.
But then again he'd shout "HEY!"
How dare you not pay when u play play play?!
You'd have your way.
Because this is what daddy always say.
"play safe!" mommy advised.
"PROTECTION!" daddy professed.
"doggy-style!" brother chides.
"say NO!" My sister confessed.
Such decisions i had to make.
Thinking to my funeral wake.
Much cake i have to bake.
If i had 5 kids wide awake.
| 16:00
yuan asking jeremy if he didnt mind him massaging him with his lstest acquisition!! a VIBRATING PUPPY MASSAGER! heheh. jeremy seems shy though. heh.
| 00:20
does it feel good? yuan is hard at work eh.. heheheh.
| 00:19
after all that great massaging. its time for a drink of water eh. so SATISFYING.
| 00:18
yes cant u tell i'm trying VERY hard to capture these scandalous moments??!! this is good front page news!! i might be able to get a raise.
| 00:18
yuan yuan is trying to field questions about his "scandalous" act.
| 00:17
thats me finally punishing that BAD vibrating massager. for ya info: u should be able to get it at any toy store for $8.95. batteries not included.
| 00:16
