REALTIONSHIPS.
the word that has pretty much has been on the lips of my friends recently.
some just climbing out from a broken one, hurt/delusioned.
others just relieved to be out of it.
that big R word, i feel.
is so much more than commitment.
to me, its easy peasy to commit.
u dont want me to see other guys? sure.
u dont want me to even talk/msn/email/sayhi to any other guy? no problem.
i have made such sacrifices and i don't see any problem with sticking to one guy and not straying.
but to me, the problem is accepting his shit whole.
every guy has bad habits/problems/emotional baggage.
i can handle that.
but if it boils down to being clingy/sticky/attention seeking/quarreling about why i dont call u.
i cant handle it. i lose it.
(yeah i admit, i dislike guys who use crying as a tool. cry over small things. hello?! i think one person -thegirl- crying in the rship is enough for 2.)
so fucken irritating. yeah i have to use the F word here.
i admit i have once been a sticky girlfriend. (to the frustration of mr.ifinallygotahaircut heheh)
and it made the both of us miserable.
so now my perspectives have changed.
i want my freedom, i'd give you yours.
if u wanna poopoo outside, clean it up, dont let me ever find out.
because i believe, if he does cheat, and it was only for one night. (dont make it a habit lar)
in the morning, he'd wake up n come running back to me.
that girl wont ever matter again. (ideal eh?)
but if there's a 3rd party. then i'd say to u, pick her.
i wanna leave the rship immediately.
why drag on n make myself feel miserable right? no point.
i'm glad to be single.
after nearly 3 years of falling in and out of failed rships.
finally i have a breather.
phew.
goodfliend (AJM) quote of the day "good horse never eat last time grass."
meaning: never go back to your ex-es bitch.
hahahahahaha.
16the June 2005/3rd month anniversary of a pact AJM and i made. :) aye girl, its gonna be 3 months real soon.
| 15:07 Sunday, May 29, 2005
Your Deadly Sins |
| Sloth: 40% |
| Greed: 20% |
| Lust: 20% |
| Pride: 20% |
| Envy: 0% |
| Gluttony: 0% |
| Wrath: 0% |
| Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14% |
| You will die with your hand down your underwear, watching Star Trek. |
How Sinful Are You?
ripped this off lynnette's blog.
wow. i'm an angel.
at this rate, i'm going straight to heaven.
| 18:50
today was a good day.
good days come rarely for me nowadays.
my days are usually catergorised under:
1) HUMID. where u sweat like a pig/cow/horse/nsboyafterPT. fan also no use. ure in an airconditioned place then when u step out, the humidity hits u like a raging bull............. whoosh! all that airconditioning gone to waste. u sweat everywhere....... and the worst place for a drop of sweat to trickle down is? between your breasts. i swear. its freaken ticklish. u cant possiblty go scratch your breasts in public right? so u must try to be discreet. pretend to cough badly then hit your chest/or rub it. the plight we women are in.
2) SORRY. yeah its one of those: i lament n feel sad about myself. lambast myself. yeah.. why am i born like that ar? why my A's do so badly ar? am i fat? after that i bash myself up by saying: those hungry children are dying in ethopia, yet here i am feeling sad and sorry about myself. whats the meaning of this?! bangsai. shithead. im sucha selfish bitch. i should be happy i have clothes to wear n food to eat! its a vicious cycle really.
3) BAD. i argue with my friend about thelamest things like, why i seem so sarcastic when replying her messages. then i vehemently deny that i was being sarcastic then she questions our friendship. or i bang my leg into a door. or do something stupid in public like having an uncontrollable sneeze with saliva flying right into a stranger's face. (my hand-to-mouth coordination was too slow to contain the saliva u see.) or dropping a roll of old chang kee fishballs on the ground. cheebat.
4) PIMPLY. like a huge pimple pops out right smack in the middle of my left cheek. i shall not elaborate. these days are horrid.
5) THIRSTY. yeah one of those days where there's an amazing urge to constantly drink water. i'm being very specific WATER only. i love water. its the tastiest drink after pokka green tea.. and i can drink up to 2 litres within a very short span of time. which means.... i need to pee all the time and public toilets are DISGUSTING. always out of toilet paper. and on the toilet seats sometimes (i swear) u see little droplets of a familiar yellow liquid. or worse still, show prints. because someone decided to stand on it rather than sit.
but i predict happier brighter days to come. yes? i hope so.. -sigh-
| 02:18 Friday, May 27, 2005
great! blogger screwed up on me.
bloody worthless. -wink-
thanks anon whoever u are, for copy n pasting the poem.
---
the briefest of glances, that fleeting moment in time.
I feel yours against mine
Thrice, our paths have crossed.
My impression etched.
beyond the delicate melting of breath against breath
The deliberate teasing as the light touched my lips.
For the last traces of your warm fingers against my bare skin;
raw.
i do not want to know u
becuase hurt only follows.
and trust is but the last resort
yet i wait, afar.
because of that minute measure of hope, that someday;
once again,
i will feel yours against mine.
| 03:09 Thursday, May 26, 2005
| 02:53
