Wednesday, August 18, 2004
i wanna keep a secret diary.
u know.. secret. like noone ever ever reads it but you.
BUT when i was a kid, my mom used to read my diaries and scream at me for writing about how so-and-so used to steal stickers from the bookshop.
scold me for saying ah ti was an irritating boy who kept disturbing me in class.
i was like 8?!
she said diaries were meant to be about happy things.
eg, "i went to the playground and played with my neighbours and was really happy.. yeah!"
-rolls eyes-
yes i had no freedom whatsoever with my mom.
totally.
even till today, thats right! no freedom.
i admit i'm sheltered.
she thinks i'm her angel.
like: whats the birds and the bees mommy?
sex? whats that? can it be eaten?
hahahaha.
ok so i'm exaggerating.
but its along those lines lar eh..
i'll always be her little girl.
i've had my fair share of freaking wanting to shove her face down the chute. who doesnt?
(i know its crude but i'm being awfully honest.)
she pisses me off like hell.
i piss her off so much so that sometimes i see her seething with anger. (like literally, smoke outta her ears)
its a love-hate relationship.
i appreciate her for the fact she took care of me since i popped outta her.
she cooked, cleaned, washed, taught and most importantly, loved unconditionally.
u know what i'm most afraid of?
turning into my mom.
yet deep down, a part of me is exactly like her.
i
love you mom. sometimes.
and if u asked: sophia, if me or your mom dropped into the sea. who'd you save?
i'd save my mommy.
-winks-
or else who'd wash the clothes?
heheh. kiddin arh.
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