neither black, nor white. just grey.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

i feel so mentally harrassed.
everytime i recieve a call or msg.
i am cornered and frustrated.
i hope i never recieve any of "the" calls or msges ever ever again.
i need a day completely free from......
free from all "the" calls and msges.
i am so over it.
dont get it?
i feel like breaking down and crying because i fear the mobile might ring nonstop like it does every other night.
the constant silent vibration mode it is in.
shaking and shaking as if trying to get rid of an unwanted call.
i fear the no. of the word "phuck" thats the messages behold.
i fear its another demand or attempt at a quarrel.
i even fear the simplest of questions asked.
my parents say they might send me for counselling.
after all this shit has happened.
my parents even offered a meetup.
the "private no." flashing on my id caller late at night on my house phone.
the caller always never talking just slamming down the phone.
mentally harrassed. physically exhausted.
i'm even suffering from nightmares.
will someone please help me out of this rut?
mummy.
daddy.
i need some help.
my head is spinning, i'm feeling claustrophobic.
i am so afraid. yes i am. that the phone might vibrate and it is yet again another of "the" calls or msges.