Wednesday, July 06, 2005
[updated/]
i just watch Saved!
i highly recommend it.
i am christian. and it isn't in any way easier. my parents expect so much of me. outside and at home, i'm 2 different people. i'm not afraid to admit it. how many times my christian parents have punished me for not being a "good testimony"? for not doing the "right" things. there's always this certain "image" i have to live up to, especially infront of relatives. even the simplest of things. this may sound highly retarded but there are so many things i am not allowed to do.
take listening to "secular" music for example. aside from gospel music, everything else to them is crap.
but what if we make mistakes? being christian doesn't mean i don't face equal temptations with regards to so many things. we face the same thing everyone faces. there are so many things i wish my parents would understand. i've never ever cursed infront of them. to them the word "shit" is foreign.
but yet sometimes, deep down, i know thats the right way to go.
being christian is so hard to do.
i forget to say grace before a meal sometimes. is that wrong?
it makes me wonder if my parents falter.
oh lynnette, only u understand. don't u?
same stereotypical christian parents.
i love you mom and dad. i do.
but i am not your perfect christian daughter.
i think i'm as screwed up as they come.
--
i'm tired of waiting.
--
angjingmei so had to drop by my house like 10mins ago at 12.15am.
with me in my disgusting grey nightie (yeah i wear those little spagtop nightgowns from marks and spencers with a little bear on the front and the words "sleep tight" in bold beneath that happy looking bear.), hair all up, face dotted with whitecolouredbased pimple cream, glasses hanging precariously at the tip of my nose.
i'm sure u get the picture.
even her boyfriend got a shock.
he muttered (and i heard!!): is that some sort of dress you're wearing? heh.
aside from my family and my close friends.
few people have seen me in such a state.
YES, and she had to knock on my doooooooooor with her boyfriend in tow (and not to mention, they just got together.)
WAH LAU.
i feel damn paiseh.
nvm.
sooner or later.
people have to face the real me anyway.
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